Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she looked like the before picture.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
