Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
