That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
