so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
