it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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