Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Panties = found
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
