Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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