she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
