bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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