Pappa wants mamma naked
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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