Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
