went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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