Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Can I color on your dick again?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
