talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
