Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
