Kiss
Puke
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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