best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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