better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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