It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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