It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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