Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
