Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
