R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
