i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
