I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
