Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
