i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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