Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish you could order shots online.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
