Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
