Say something about gay babies.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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