i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
