It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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