He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
