Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
