fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
