so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
