Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
