She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
