As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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