Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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