Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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