I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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