if you like me you must not know who I am
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
