I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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