we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
