i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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