So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
