I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I believe in your delicious
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
