We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
