no, he came in my armpit
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize