I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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