Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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